‘Tis the season — for crime? Many criminals see the holiday season as their opportunity to cash in. But while many of the crimes committed around Christmas center around theft of presents, there are a few that are so strange that they definitely deserve a special place on Santa’s naughty. Here are 10 strange but true Christmas crimes:


  1. Stolen Baby Jesus: What’s stranger, stealing a doll depicting what many believe is the son of God, or using GPS and high tech cameras to protect the display? Regardless of your belief, stealing an important religious symbol for no other reason than to vandalize seems like a very Grinch-esque activity. But then again, having a good excuse to ask Santa for an advanced GPS system has its perks. If you see a vandal robbing a nativity scene of Baby Jesus, and the GPS tracking system hasn’t already done it for you, report the incident to authorities.
  2. Wal-Mart Stampede: People really go wild over Christmas gadgets and gizmos. So wild, in fact, that they behave like wild animals and stampede into large retail stores hoping to get the best deal on the coolest new items. But recently this trend has taken a decidedly less innocent turn, as workers and bystanders have been trampled by frenzied shoppers. This Christmas, remember why we really celebrate the holidays and get your shopping done in a decidedly less deadly fashion.
  3. Stolen Christmas Trees: This may be the only time of year where stealing a tree represents an attractive and potentially profitable opportunity for a criminal. It’s no surprise that the rates of petty theft and robbery rise during the Christmas season, but Christmas trees? Really? If you see a tree being stolen from a commercial lot, do your civic duty and report the criminal to the authorities. They’ll be out in force this year cracking down on a truly bizarre crime.
  4. Drunken Parade Float Driving: Everyone enjoys the Christmas parade. But when this parade float driver sped past another float and raced towards Main street, police knew something was wrong. The driver turned out to be drunk, and the story turned out to be one of the most bizarre Christmas crimes in history. This season, be careful with the eggnog, especially if it’s your job to drive the Christmas float the next day.
  5. Nativity Scene Vandalism: Not believing in Santa Claus is one thing. Venting your rage upon carefully crafted nativity scenes by writing satanic symbols with spray paint is another. Watch out this year because police are out in force to protect these displays of peace and love from any number of criminal Grinches.
  6. Frosty Stabbing: Frosty, after surviving 2 initial stabbing attempts finally succumbed to his wounds while the perpetrators were tracked down and charge with — vandalism? Yes, Frosty may have been a 12-foot tall inflatable snowman, but does that mean he deserves to be repeatedly stabbed? Absolutely not. The teenage perpetrators were caught in this case, but around Christmas this type of vandalism often goes unsolved.
  7. Christmas Tree Cannabis: The Christmas tree is one of the most iconic symbols of the holiday season. In this bizarre turn on a Christmas classic, the Christmas tree was made entirely of illegal marijuana. While it may have looked similar to a normal tree, setting it on fire may have some interesting effects on those nearby. Perhaps it’s not the best idea to use your illegal drugs as your celebration of the holiday season.
  8. Cannabis Christmas Card: In this strange story, a woman visiting her boyfriend in prison wanted to surprise him with a heart-felt Christmas card. The catch? The card contained a heaping helping of illegal marijuana, which is generally frowned upon in prison. After being caught, she may have an opportunity to join her boyfriend behind bars next holiday season.
  9. Naughty Santa Claus: Children really enjoy telling Santa what they want for Christmas, and adults enjoy the idea of Santa perhaps just as much. But when Santa starts telling dirty and offensive jokes at the work place (not the North Pole), Santa is going to get a nice pink slip for Christmas. Merry unemployment, Santa. And a happy new harassment charge next year!
  10. The Santa Claus Bandti: Yes, you read that right. A man who looked suspiciously like Santa Claus had become one of the most prolific bank robbers in recent memory before being caught and arrested. We always knew that Santa was independently wealthy, but we never guessed that this was what funded his North Pole operation.
Adam Lee Nemann
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Trial and Defense Attorney, Adjunct Professor of Law at Capital University, founder of Nemann Law Offices
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